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What Is a Life Well Lived: Meaning, Fulfillment, and Impact

Table of contents, embracing meaningful experiences, cultivating personal growth, fostering connections and relationships, leaving a positive impact.

  • Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man's Search for Meaning. Beacon Press.
  • Seligman, M. E. (2011). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Free Press.
  • Dweck, C. S. (2007). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
  • Brown, B. (2018). Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Random House.
  • Keltner, D. (2016). The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence. Penguin Books.

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The Marginalian

The Measure of a Life Well Lived: Henry Miller on Growing Old, the Perils of Success, and the Secret of Remaining Young at Heart

By maria popova.

life well lived essay

More than three decades later, shortly after his eightieth birthday, Miller wrote a beautiful essay on the subject of aging and the key to living a full life. It was published in 1972 in an ultra-limited-edition chapbook titled On Turning Eighty ( public library ), alongside two other essays. Only 200 copies were printed, numbered and signed by the author.

life well lived essay

Miller begins by considering the true measure of youthfulness:

If at eighty you’re not a cripple or an invalid, if you have your health, if you still enjoy a good walk, a good meal (with all the trimmings), if you can sleep without first taking a pill, if birds and flowers, mountains and sea still inspire you, you are a most fortunate individual and you should get down on your knees morning and night and thank the good Lord for his savin’ and keepin’ power. If you are young in years but already weary in spirit, already on the way to becoming an automaton, it may do you good to say to your boss — under your breath, of course — “Fuck you, Jack! You don’t own me!” … If you can fall in love again and again, if you can forgive your parents for the crime of bringing you into the world, if you are content to get nowhere, just take each day as it comes, if you can forgive as well as forget, if you can keep from growing sour, surly, bitter and cynical, man you’ve got it half licked.

He later adds:

I have very few friends or acquaintances my own age or near it. Though I am usually ill at ease in the company of elderly people I have the greatest respect and admiration for two very old men who seem to remain eternally young and creative. I mean [the Catalan cellist and conductor] Pablo Casals and Pablo Picasso, both over ninety now. Such youthful nonagenarians put the young to shame. Those who are truly decrepit, living corpses, so to speak, are the middle-aged, middleclass men and women who are stuck in their comfortable grooves and imagine that the status quo will last forever or else are so frightened it won’t that they have retreated into their mental bomb shelters to wait it out.

Miller considers the downside of success — not the private kind, per Thoreau’s timeless definition , but the public kind, rooted in the false deity of prestige :

If you have had a successful career, as presumably I have had, the late years may not be the happiest time of your life. (Unless you’ve learned to swallow your own shit.) Success, from the worldly standpoint, is like the plague for a writer who still has something to say. Now, when he should be enjoying a little leisure, he finds himself more occupied than ever. Now he is the victim of his fans and well wishers, of all those who desire to exploit his name. Now it is a different kind of struggle that one has to wage. The problem now is how to keep free, how to do only what one wants to do.

He goes on to reflect on how success affects people’s quintessence:

One thing seems more and more evident to me now — people’s basic character does not change over the years… Far from improving them, success usually accentuates their faults or short-comings. The brilliant guys at school often turn out to be not so brilliant once they are out in the world. If you disliked or despised certain lads in your class you will dislike them even more when they become financiers, statesmen or five star generals. Life forces us to learn a few lessons, but not necessarily to grow.

Somewhat ironically, Anaïs Nin — Miller’s onetime lover and lifelong friend — once argued beautifully for the exact opposite , the notion that our personalities are fundamentally fluid and ever-growing, something that psychologists have since corroborated .

Miller returns to youth and the young as a kind of rearview mirror for one’s own journey:

You observe your children or your children’s children, making the same absurd mistakes, heart-rending mistakes often, which you made at their age. And there is nothing you can say or do to prevent it. It’s by observing the young, indeed, that you eventually understand the sort of idiot you yourself were once upon a time — and perhaps still are.

Like George Eliot, who so poignantly observed the trajectory of happiness over the course of human life , Miller extols the essential psychoemotional supremacy of old age:

At eighty I believe I am a far more cheerful person than I was at twenty or thirty. I most definitely would not want to be a teenager again. Youth may be glorious, but it is also painful to endure… I was cursed or blessed with a prolonged adolescence; I arrived at some seeming maturity when I was past thirty. It was only in my forties that I really began to feel young. By then I was ready for it. (Picasso once said: “One starts to get young at the age of sixty, and then it’s too late.” ) By this time I had lost many illusions, but fortunately not my enthusiasm, nor the joy of living, nor my unquenchable curiosity.

life well lived essay

And therein lies Miller’s spiritual center — the life-force that stoked his ageless inner engine:

Perhaps it is curiosity — about anything and everything — that made me the writer I am. It has never left me… With this attribute goes another which I prize above everything else, and that is the sense of wonder. No matter how restricted my world may become I cannot imagine it leaving me void of wonder. In a sense I suppose it might be called my religion. I do not ask how it came about, this creation in which we swim, but only to enjoy and appreciate it.

Two years later, Miller would come to articulate this with even more exquisite clarity in contemplating the meaning of life , but here he contradicts Henry James’s assertion that seriousness preserves one’s youth and turns to his other saving grace — the capacity for light-heartedness as an antidote to life’s often stifling solemnity:

Perhaps the most comforting thing about growing old gracefully is the increasing ability not to take things too seriously. One of the big differences between a genuine sage and a preacher is gaiety. When the sage laughs it is a belly laugh; when the preacher laughs, which is all too seldom, it is on the wrong side of the face.

Equally important, Miller argues, is countering the human compulsion for self-righteousness. In a sentiment Malcolm Gladwell would come to complement nearly half a century later in advocating for the importance of changing one’s mind regularly , Miller writes:

With advancing age my ideals, which I usually deny possessing, have definitely altered. My ideal is to be free of ideals, free of principles, free of isms and ideologies. I want to take to the ocean of life like a fish takes to the sea… I no longer try to convert people to my view of things, nor to heal them. Neither do I feel superior because they appear to be lacking in intelligence.

Miller goes on to consider the brute ways in which we often behave out of self-righteousness and deformed idealism:

One can fight evil but against stupidity one is helpless… I have accepted the fact, hard as it may be, that human beings are inclined to behave in ways that would make animals blush. The ironic, the tragic thing is that we often behave in ignoble fashion from what we consider the highest motives. The animal makes no excuse for killing his prey; the human animal, on the other hand, can invoke God’s blessing when massacring his fellow men. He forgets that God is not on his side but at his side.

But despite observing these lamentable human tendencies, Miller remains an optimist at heart. He concludes by returning to the vital merriment at the root of his life-force:

My motto has always been: “Always merry and bright.” Perhaps that is why I never tire of quoting Rabelais: “For all your ills I give you laughter.” As I look back on my life, which has been full of tragic moments, I see it more as a comedy than a tragedy. One of those comedies in which while laughing your guts out you feel your inner heart breaking. What better comedy could there be? The man who takes himself seriously is doomed… There is nothing wrong with life itself. It is the ocean in which we swim and we either adapt to it or sink to the bottom. But it is in our power as human beings not to pollute the waters of life, not to destroy the spirit which animates us. The most difficult thing for a creative individual is to refrain from the effort to make the world to his liking and to accept his fellow man for what he is, whether good, bad or indifferent.

life well lived essay

The entire On Turning Eighty chapbook, which includes two other essays, is a sublime read. Complement it with Miller on writing , altruism , the meaning of life , what creative death means , and his 11 commandments of writing .

— Published June 26, 2014 — https://www.themarginalian.org/2014/06/26/henry-miller-on-turning-eighty/ —

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A Life Well Lived

Last updated on September 13th, 2023

A life well lived: achieving fulfillment and happiness through purposeful living.

Table of Contents

A life well lived is a concept that has been debated by philosophers, psychologists, and thinkers for centuries. It is a term that has been used to describe a life that is fulfilling, meaningful, and purposeful. Many people strive to live a life well-lived, but what does that really mean?

Some argue that a life well-lived is one that is full of accomplishments, achievements, and accolades. Others believe that it is a life that is centered around relationships, love, and compassion. Still, others argue that a life well-lived is one that is focused on personal growth, self-improvement, and self-discovery. Ultimately, the definition of a life well-lived is subjective and varies from person to person.

Defining a Life Well Lived

Living a life well lived is a goal that many people aspire to achieve. However, what does it truly mean to live well? Defining a life well lived is a personal and subjective matter that can vary from person to person. In this section, we will explore what it means to live well and the importance of defining success on your own terms.

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What does it mean to live well?

Living well can mean different things to different people. For some, it may mean having a successful career, financial stability, and material possessions. For others, it may mean having fulfilling relationships, good health, and a sense of purpose in life. Ultimately, living well is about finding a balance between different aspects of life that are important to an individual.

Living well can also involve personal growth and development. This can include learning new skills, pursuing passions and interests, and challenging oneself to become a better person. It is important to note that living well is not a one-time achievement but an ongoing process that requires effort and dedication.

The importance of defining success on your own terms

Defining success on your own terms is crucial to living a life well lived. It involves determining what is important to you and setting goals that align with your values and priorities. It is easy to get caught up in societal expectations and external pressures, but it is important to remember that everyone’s journey is unique.

Defining success on your own terms allows you to focus on what truly matters to you and avoid comparing yourself to others. It allows you to make choices that align with your values and bring you closer to your goals. It also allows you to celebrate your achievements and progress, no matter how small they may seem to others.

In conclusion, defining a life well lived is a personal matter that requires self-reflection and introspection. It involves finding a balance between different aspects of life and defining success on your own terms. By doing so, you can live a fulfilling and meaningful life that aligns with your values and priorities.

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Creating a meaningful life.

Creating a meaningful life is a journey that requires a combination of personal growth, self-discovery, and making a positive impact on the world. A life well-lived is not just about achieving success, but also about finding purpose and passion, building strong relationships, and giving back to the community.

Finding Purpose and Passion

To create a meaningful life, it is essential to find your purpose and passion. This involves identifying your values, interests, and skills, and aligning them with your goals and aspirations. When you have clarity about what you want to achieve, you can focus your energy and efforts on pursuing your dreams.

One way to find your purpose and passion is to engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. This could be anything from pursuing a hobby to volunteering for a cause you care about. By exploring your interests and trying new things, you can discover what makes you happy and what you are passionate about.

Building Strong Relationships

Another key component of a meaningful life is building strong relationships with others. Humans are social beings, and we thrive on connection and belonging. Building meaningful relationships with family, friends, and colleagues can provide a sense of purpose, support, and fulfillment.

To build strong relationships, it is essential to communicate effectively, practice empathy, and show appreciation for others. This involves actively listening, being present, and showing kindness and compassion. By investing in your relationships, you can create a sense of community and belonging that enriches your life.

Giving Back to the Community

Finally, creating a meaningful life involves giving back to the community. This could be through volunteering, donating to charity, or engaging in social activism. By making a positive impact on the world, you can create a sense of purpose and fulfillment that goes beyond personal success.

Giving back to the community also provides an opportunity to connect with others and create a sense of shared purpose. By working together to create positive change, you can build relationships and create a sense of belonging that enriches your life and the lives of others.

In summary, creating a meaningful life involves finding purpose and passion, building strong relationships, and giving back to the community. By pursuing these goals, you can create a sense of fulfillment and purpose that goes beyond personal success and enriches your life and the world around you.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness is an essential component of a fulfilling life. It is a subjective feeling that varies from person to person, and its pursuit is a fundamental human right. The pursuit of happiness is not just about experiencing positive emotions, but it also involves finding meaning and purpose in life.

The role of happiness in a fulfilling life

Research has shown that happiness has a significant impact on various aspects of life, including physical health, relationships, and work productivity. People who are happy tend to have better physical health, lower stress levels, and are more resilient in the face of adversity. They also tend to have more satisfying relationships with others and are more productive at work.

Furthermore, happiness has been linked to a sense of purpose and meaning in life. People who are happy tend to have a clearer sense of their values and goals, which helps them make decisions that align with their beliefs and aspirations. This sense of purpose and meaning can provide a sense of fulfillment and contentment that goes beyond just experiencing positive emotion.

How to cultivate a happy life

While happiness is a subjective experience, there are several strategies that individuals can use to cultivate a more fulfilling life. These include:

  • Practicing gratitude: Focusing on the positive aspects of life, such as expressing gratitude for the people and things in one’s life, can help cultivate a more positive outlook.
  • Engaging in meaningful activities: Pursuing activities that align with one’s values and goals can provide a sense of purpose and meaning in life.
  • Building strong relationships: Cultivating positive relationships with others can provide a sense of social support and connectedness, which can contribute to overall well-being.
  • Practicing self-care: Taking care of one’s physical and mental health, such as through regular exercise, meditation, and adequate sleep, can help promote a sense of well-being.

In conclusion, the pursuit of happiness is an essential aspect of a fulfilling life. While happiness is a subjective experience, there are several strategies that individuals can use to cultivate a more positive outlook and sense of purpose in life. By focusing on the positive aspects of life, engaging in meaningful activities, building strong relationships, and practicing self-care, individuals can cultivate a more fulfilling life.

20 Top Quotes About a Life Well Lived

There are countless quotes about the importance of living well, each offering a unique perspective on what it means to live a fulfilling life. Here are my top 20 quotes that resonated with me.  Which ones resonate with you?

Quotes 1 through 10:

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” Eleanor Roosevelt
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” “Everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances.” “No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”  Maya Angelou
“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” Carl Rogers
“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” Steve Jobs
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” Dalai Lama
“The man is a success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who leaves the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it; who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had.” Robert Louis Stevenson
“The righteous will live by his faith.”   Samuel Rutherford
“The good life requires that we take pleasure in new things; the good life requires that we take pleasure in moments. To enjoy the good life we have to get ahead; to enjoy a good life we have to make the trip worthwhile.”   Steve Goodier
“Max, the trouble with you is for the last nine years – well, most of your life, come to think of it – you’ve lived in a masculine world; you’re used to logic, reason, and sense. Females don’t think as we do; they’re emotional.” Anne Gracie

Quotes 11 through 20:

“You’re not supposed to die with your potential. A life well lived squeezes all the potential placed within and does something with it.”   Erwin McManus
“Anyone can make a positive impact on the lives of other people. All we have to do is live our ordinary lives extraordinarily well. Be happy and positive. Do what you love and love your work. Reach out not only by using your hands, but with your heart as well. Life is lived wonderfully that way.” Kcat Yarza
“There is a distinct feeling of contentment that engulfs your entire being after a day well lived, a battle well fought, and a purpose tirelessly pursued.” Steve Maraboli
“Indeed, the big decisions in life are hardly ever clear – except for one. And that one is piercingly clear: life is a series of dilemmas, of options, of conundrums, of possibilities taken and not taken. Negotiating these moments well is of the essence of the life well lived.” Joan D. Chittister
“A well-lived life means weathering a few storms. Our lessons don’t come from sunny days on the beach, they come from copping a few waves on the head.” Tony Curl
“I hope I’m thought of as not just a showbiz personality, but as someone who has lived a life and who has hopefully made a contribution to something along the way – someone who is a human being as well as an actress.” Lauren Bacall
“A life well-lived or a life lived well? The placement of words really does change the connotation.”   Carol Morgan
“There appears to exist a greater desire to live long than to live well! Measure by man’s desires, he cannot live long enough; measure by his good deeds, and he has not lived long enough; measure by his evil deeds, and he has lived too long.” Johann Georg Ritter Von Zimmermann
“To do what you wanna do, to leave a mark – in a way that you think is important and lasting; that’s a life well-lived.”     Laurene Powell Jobs
 “Do not plan to die, do not plan for the death of your name or your influence – rather, plan for the resting of a life well lived. Make an eternal mark.” Archibald Marwizi

Final Last Words

In short, living well is about living intentionally and with purpose. It is about making the most of the time we have, and leaving a positive impact on the world around us. As the philosopher Seneca once said, “It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it.”

Additionally, living well involves finding purpose and meaning in life, taking care of oneself physically and mentally, and cultivating positive relationships with others. By prioritizing self-care, setting goals, and building meaningful connections with others, anyone can live a fulfilling life.

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Frontiers | Science News

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How do we define a well-lived life first scientific evidence helps us get closer to an answer.

By Doris Baumann, University of Zurich

life well lived essay

Image: Maridav/Shutterstock

Doris Baumann is currently finishing her PhD at the Department of Psychology at the University of Zurich. She is particularly interested in the factors that contribute to living and aging well. In her thesis, she investigates fulfillment in life from a positive psychological perspective. She wants to inspire and support people in finding their niche, where they can be at their best, fulfill their potential, and make unique contributions.

A transition, such as the beginning of a new year or entering the second half of life, can strengthen our desire to be more aware of what really matters to us. People naturally take stock of their lives and look ahead to determine their priorities for their next chapter in life.

In the end, humans want to be able to look back on a life well-lived. But what constitutes a fulfilled life? And what are its defining characteristics?

Though our study published in Frontiers in Psychology confirms the relevance of the concept of fulfillment in life for individuals of different ages, it has been neglected in psychological research. Together with Prof Willibald Ruch, we have initiated this new line of research in the field of positive psychology to fill this gap and advance the study of the good life.

To establish a theoretical foundation, we provided a conceptualization and a model of fulfillment. There is indeed a difference between happiness and fulfillment. The latter is long-lasting and comes from deriving a sense of wholeness, from perceiving congruence, and from recognizing value regarding one’s self, life, and impact.

►  Read original article ►  Download original article (pdf)

Assessing a fulfilled life

Our understanding of a fulfilled life comprises both cognitive and affective aspects. Our model of fulfillment in life entails that individuals be able to develop and realize their full potential; become whole and complete, feel true to themselves, and lead authentic lives. It further involves the feeling that one’s existence is significant and the ability to leave one’s unique mark on this world and to contribute to others’ well-being. Given that fulfillment is a new research area, it was essential to study the concept from different angles. Therefore, we investigated what laypersons understand by a fulfilled life.

After building a conceptual framework, the next important step in advancing the empirical study of a fulfilled life was to test whether this concept can be measured. We developed a multidimensional instrument based on our model. In our article, ‘Measuring What Counts in Life: The Development and Initial Validation of the Fulfilled Life Scale (FLS)’, published in Frontiers in Psychology , we demonstrated that a fulfilled life can be assessed. We evaluated the questionnaire using the standard criteria of reliability and validity.

In addition to its use in research, the FLS can also be applied in practice. Life and career coaches could employ the scale to support their clients in building a life that suits them well and that they experience as worthwhile. A fulfilled life can be regarded as an indicator of the good life and a proxy for aging well.

Is the pursuit of a fulfilled life vanity, selfish, or a luxury? Quite the contrary, it is essential for humans not only to be free from mental illness but to thrive at all life stages. Doris Baumann

The importance of fulfillment

Is the pursuit of a fulfilled life vanity, selfish, or a luxury? Quite the contrary, it is essential for humans not only to be free from mental illness but to thrive at all life stages. Our findings indicate that appraising one’s life as fulfilled is a predictor of mental well-being. Furthermore, perceiving one’s life as fulfilled is associated with better self-rated health. Individuals experiencing a fulfilled life reported a more positive attitude toward aging.

That a fulfilled life is not a self-centered life is demonstrated by our results showing that high levels of fulfillment are related to generative concerns (eg, caring for the well-being of younger generations) and voluntary engagement. Investigating participants’ conceptions revealed that making an impact and leaving a positive mark in others’ lives is indeed viewed as an essential component of a fulfilled life.

What can support the endeavor to create a fulfilling existence? Certain attitudes toward life, such as performing meaningful activities, engaging in tasks in which one feels absorbed, or pursuing goals from which one derives a sense of achievement, have been shown to be conducive to experiencing a fulfilled life. Sensing one’s profession or an activity as a calling can also provide a strong sense of fulfillment.

Our findings reveal a slight increase in life fulfillment as individuals age. People might acquire more resources and qualities to lead a fulfilling life as they get older. These may include knowledge, life experience, or expertise that can be passed on. Through generative actions, people can derive contentment and a sense of meaning. On the other hand, older adults have developed their character strengths, which help them overcome adversities and create a fulfilling life.

Finally, longevity and the increase of healthy years in one’s life provide unprecedented opportunities. Today, people have a longer time frame to realize their strengths, pursue their dreams, and leave a legacy. Later life offers greater freedom to be who one is, express oneself, and choose what is personally meaningful. Will you take advantage of these new possibilities for leading a more fulfilling life?

life well lived essay

Doris Baumann. Image: Renate Szinyei, goldenpictures.ch

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Autonomy: An Essay on the Life Well-Lived

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Autonomy: An Essay on the Life Well-Lived 1st Edition

In everyday life, we generally assume that we can make our own decisions on matters which concern our own lives. We assume that a life followed only according to decisions taken by other people, against our will, cannot be a well-lived life – we assume, in other words, that we are and should be autonomous. However, it is equally true that many aspects of our lives are not chosen freely: this is true of social relations and commitments but also of all those situations we simply seem to stumble into, situations which just seem to happen to us. The possibility of both the success of an autonomous life and its failure are part of our everyday experiences.

  • ISBN-10 1509538003
  • ISBN-13 978-1509538003
  • Edition 1st
  • Publisher Polity
  • Publication date July 26, 2021
  • Language English
  • Dimensions 5.8 x 0.9 x 8.7 inches
  • Print length 380 pages
  • See all details

Editorial Reviews

“It needs a rare mixture of hermeneutical sensibility, analytical scrutiny, and existentialist imagination to give the individual search for autonomy the right place within the imponderables of one’s life. Beate Roessler, possessing these talents abundantly, is in my view the first one to fully illuminate both the desire and the difficulties we have in finding our own voice in the midst of social obstructions, individual self-misunderstandings, and communicative relationships. Her new book is by far the best philosophical study on this intricate topic and therefore a must-read.” Axel Honneth, Department of Philosophy, Columbia University

“In one of the most lucid and insightful treatments of the subject of autonomy in the recent literature, Roessler takes profoundly seriously the contingencies and ambivalences inherent in everyday life, even in well-lived lives. The view of autonomy that emerges is thereby more nuanced, appropriately complex, and true to life than most on offer. The masterful use of literary examples, echoed in her own elegant writing, makes Roessler’s treatment of the topic a joy to read. Moreover, the account she offers, both of autonomy and its connection to a life well lived, is powerful and compelling.” John Christman, Professor of Philosophy, Political Science and Women's Studies, Pennsylvania State University

“Engagingly written, and enriched with a series of well-chosen literary examples, Autonomy masterfully articulates the tensions between two conflicting but deeply entrenched conceptions of ourselves – as self-determined agents, and as beings who are subject to situations and circumstances that we do not choose. In explaining how these tensions can be reconciled, Beate Roessler presents a compelling argument for the view that autonomy is a necessary condition for a well-lived life. A lucid exploration of the interconnections between autonomy, self-knowledge, privacy, and social relationships, Autonomy makes an important contribution to the contemporary literature on autonomy.” Catriona Mackenzie, Professor of Philosophy, Macquarie University

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  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Polity; 1st edition (July 26, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 380 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1509538003
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1509538003
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 14.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.8 x 0.9 x 8.7 inches
  • #3,429 in Humanist Philosophy
  • #19,507 in Philosophy (Books)
  • #309,040 in Unknown

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life well lived essay

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What Does It Mean to Live a Life Well-Lived

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Introduction

Living a life well-lived without regrets.

Sweet V

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life well lived essay

Listener Essay - Reflections On A Life Well Lived

life well lived essay

  Mary Jo Hebert lives, writes, and misses her cousin Dave in Clifton Park, New York.

Reflections on a Life Well Lived

It’s not easy to be around people who are dying. We don’t like to be reminded that one day death will come for us, too. But sometimes there is something to be learned. Dave was dying and I had come to say goodbye.

A favorite among my litter of cousins, suntanned and windswept from long days spent outdoors, Dave was cowboy handsome with a stockbroker’s instinct for Wall Street and investments, the one to round us up for reunions, to remind us we were family and that family was important.

Married at 20 and a father at 22, Dave did what few young people do today – he got an early start. With his Army Reserve Unit activated, news of his daughter’s birth came not from the delivery room but the Red Cross who tracked him down in Vietnam.

Father of two daughters, he often lovingly referred to his six grandchildren as his greatest return on investment. Ask any financial advisor and they’ll tell you: it takes time for investments to mature.

Time is something we assume we always have plenty of. The promise of modern medicine encourages us to live as if we’ll live forever. With little sense of urgency, we often lack incentive to move forward. Follow your bliss, we advise our young people, but before they do they have to find it and that takes time – lots of it.

Rather than wait to find his, Dave followed his effort instead. Working on an automotive assembly line and serving in the Army Reserve, on nights and weekends he drove a dump truck and hauled gravel.

By his late 20’s he had scraped together enough savings to purchase several country acres and spent the next 30 years clearing the land, building roads, and creating a homestead surrounded by mountain views. At an age when the rest of us are refinancing our mortgage, he was burning his.

Many couples today postpone starting a family until they own a home. Not Dave. His daughters remember the early days of sheetrock walls and plywood floors as their father literally built their home around them. And taught the value of hard work in the process.

They are the same lessons he instilled in his grandchildren who worked alongside him during summer vacations. Paid according to their years of age, to the five year old earning five dollars for picking up stones or the ten year old clearing brush and earning ten, getting older meant not just more responsibility, but greater reward.

By making your life an example, Dave showed me, it will continue to influence others years after you are gone.

When Dave’s health began to fail, there was little left on his bucket list, no mad dash to make up for lost time. His imprint was already everywhere.

At the age of 65, by today’s standards, Dave would die a young man. But his was not a life shortchanged. Despite an early end, he still enjoyed the fullness of life and the best of old age: 45 years of marriage and an abundance of grandchildren. Looking back, it’s as if he lived his life with the end in mind.

Not all good lives are long lives, I learned. Good lives, it turns out, come in all lengths and widths. Despite our best efforts to exercise and eat well, much of living to 100 is beyond our control. When the goal becomes not length but width everyone is a contender. Fullness of life, days that are plump with meaning and intention, is something we can all aspire to.

Growing weaker, Dave summoned his daughters and grandchildren home and invited their parish priest to celebrate mass. At the sign of peace, Dave offered each his final blessing: peace be with you.

“Thank you for everything you gave us,” said his daughter. “And thank you for everything you didn’t.”

None of us knows what our departing words will be – we run to the store for a quart of milk and never return. And death will always be in the words of the poet “the great perhaps.”

In a bed overlooking the acres of cleared land that had been his life’s work, Dave lay peacefully under a blanket imprinted with an image of the grandchildren who had been the joy of his life. A full life. A good life. No perhaps about it.

The fast track to a life well lived is feeling grateful

<p><em>Photo by David Pollack/Corbis via Getty Images</em></p>

Photo by David Pollack/Corbis via Getty Images

by David DeSteno   + BIO

life well lived essay

For the Ancient Greeks, virtue wasn’t a goal in and of itself, but rather a route to a life well lived. By being honest and generous, embodying diligence and fortitude, showing restraint and kindness, a person would flourish – coming to live a life filled with meaning and finding an enduring, as opposed to ephemeral, happiness. Today, that view hasn’t much changed. While we hear plenty of stories of celebrities, politicians and even our neighbours finding fleeting pleasure through self-gratification, dishonesty or hubris, we can also see the ‘other shoe’ eventually drop, leading to despair, social rejection or worse.

If it’s true that virtue leads to a life well lived – a view that receives more empirical backing with each passing year – the question How do I become virtuous? takes on a bit of urgency. For the majority of ethicists, both ancient and modern, the answer is clear: virtue comes from living an examined life, one where deep deliberation leads to the embrace of noble qualities such as honesty and generosity, no matter how difficult it can be to enact them.

There’s a problem with this well-worn path, however. In a busy world where many feel inundated with the demands of daily life, devoting time to philosophical deliberation – worthy as it might be – can feel like an elusive luxury. So while the usual route for pursuing virtue can certainly work, after more than two decades studying how emotions shape the mind, I think there might be an easier way to achieve the same end.

In considering moral character, the Roman orator Cicero said: ‘Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.’ And while I think it’s an overstatement, Cicero’s view does offer up the tantalising prospect that, simply by cultivating gratitude, other virtues will grow. If correct, it suggests that there’s an entirely different way to improve moral character – one that is rapid, easy and efficient.

At base, emotions are about the future, not the past. From an evolutionary standpoint, feeling pain or pleasure that can’t change anything would be a useless waste of the brain’s efforts. The true benefit of emotions comes from their power to guide decisions about what comes next.

In the case of gratitude, it’s long been clear that it nudges people to repay debts. As the German sociologist Georg Simmel described it at the start of the 20th century: ‘Gratitude… is the moral memory of mankind.’ It doesn’t let people forget that they must accept some future sacrifice to benefit a past benefactor. And as research from many labs, including my own, has shown empirically, Simmel was right. The more gratitude people feel toward those who have helped them, the more diligently they will work to pay them back.

H ow does gratitude work its mental magic? By what mechanism does it make us willing to devote time, money or other resources to repay others rather than to enhance our own enjoyment? It appears to come down to self-control. Any time a person sacrifices for another, she’s choosing to forgo her own immediate needs in service of a larger future gain. For instance, if you value your friendship with someone, the gratitude you feel when he helps you move your sofa to a new apartment makes it more likely you’ll return the favour, even though at the time he asks for help you’d rather be doing almost anything else than hoisting furniture. Yet, agreeing to help is necessary for ensuring that the benefits of that friendship keep coming down the line – benefits that, when aggregated over time, will likely outweigh the pleasant feelings of going out to dinner if it means leaving a friend in the lurch.

To prove the point, we’ve repeatedly been able to show the close link between gratitude and self-control. In 2014, we demonstrated that people induced to feel grateful, compared with those induced to feel happiness or no emotion at all, became much more willing to wait for a larger financial reward (eg, $80 in three weeks) compared with a smaller, immediate one ($35 now). Like the successful children in Walter Mischel’s famed ‘marshmallow test’ at Stanford University in the 1970s, these grateful adults were better able to resist temptations for immediate gratification that came at the cost of larger benefits in the future.

Given that many moral dilemmas boil down to an issue of self-control – as the Stoics pointed out centuries ago – such findings suggest that gratitude might indeed be a parent virtue of sorts.

Consider honesty. Say I ask people to play a game of chance where they could flip a virtual coin to win one of two monetary prizes: a small one or a larger one. Let’s also say the flip occurs in private. All people need do to get their money is hit a computer key to indicate the result: ‘heads’ means the larger reward; ‘tails’ the smaller one. Now, let’s make one final tweak: the coin in question is rigged to come up tails.

If gratitude enhances honesty, the prediction is clear: those feeling grateful at the time of the flip should be more likely than their peers to report that they got tails, thus ensuring they’ll get the smaller reward. As it turns out, when we conducted this experiment, published in Psychological Science this May, that’s exactly what happened. The percentage of cheaters fell by half (from almost 49 per cent to 27 per cent) among those who had just recalled a time when they felt grateful, compared with those who described a time when they felt happy or no particular emotion at all.

Any single experiment, of course, can’t be taken as strong proof. So in the same article, we describe a second experiment in which we raised the stakes. This version had two key differences. First, the coin flip determined whether any given participant would have to complete an enjoyable 10-minute task or a difficult 45-minute one. Second, we led participants to believe that the next person to come would be assigned to complete whichever task remained.

Taken together, these changes meant that people’s decisions not only involved options that dramatically differed in the time and effort required, but also directly affected the outcomes for others. In deciding to cheat by reporting that the virtual coin flip came up heads, people were giving themselves a much shorter and more enjoyable task, but in so doing, were also unfairly dooming another person to a more onerous task.

As one might imagine, the overall frequency of cheating was lower. Nonetheless, gratitude worked in the exact same way. Whereas 17 per cent of people cheated when feeling neutral or happy, only 2 per cent cheated when feeling grateful.

The empirical literature shows a similar influence of gratitude on other virtues. People feeling grateful are more likely to help others who request assistance, to divide their profits in a more egalitarian way, to be loyal even at cost to themselves, to be less materialistic , and even to exercise as opposed to loafing.

It’s essential to recognise that the people who acted more virtuously in these studies didn’t do so because they were ‘good’ people from the start. They weren’t those who, as the virtue ethicists would prescribe, spent years focused on philosophical analysis. They were people from all walks of life who, when presented with temptation, had to make a quick decision about whether to behave nobly or not. And while many acted in a less than honourable way, all it took for some to behave fairly was a few moments spent stoking a feeling of gratitude.

None of this should be taken to mean that a rational consideration of why and how to behave ethically isn’t a worthwhile endeavour. It most certainly is. But it isn’t the only , or even perhaps the most efficient, way to help foster virtue and a life well lived. Boosting morality from the bottom up by cultivating a sense of gratitude a few moments each day might work just as well, with the bonus that you won’t have to wait years for results.

This Idea was made possible through the support of a grant to Aeon from the John Templeton Foundation. The opinions expressed in this publication are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Foundation. Funders to Aeon Magazine are not involved in editorial decision-making.

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The Sign of a Life Well-Lived

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life well lived essay

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” – Mark Twain

Life is a mosaic of a million smaller moments. Every experience from our past critically fits to complete the overall picture of our lives; and the possibility our lives hold as we go forward.

Some moments are extraordinarily beneficial: like the first time you learned to tie your shoes. Other moments are packed with wonderful memories: like my family playing at the beach on vacation last week.

There are countless other moments that fill your mosaic; the ones in which you experienced challenge and adversity; that you’ve completely forgotten; and still those that changed the course of your life.

The sum of your moments is both the composite of the life you’ve lived and the foundation for the life you can imagine for tomorrow. Last week, I overheard commentary on the television about a celebrity that completely defied this truth.

“She looks great, so youthful! Sixty-years-old, look at those legs, and not a wrinkle on her face. I am jealous!”

I stood there, getting ready for work, wishing I could step into the television, join the conversation and say, “By 60, if you don’t have wrinkles on your face it’s not the sign of youthfulness; it is evidence of surgery.”

My friend, your wrinkles are reminders of your perfectly imperfect life and journey. They tell stories of difficult yesterdays you survived.

They remind you of challenges faced growing up, losing loved one, struggling through adversity, enduring pain and rising above it all. They remind you that life can be challenging, but remains an absolute gift.

Your wrinkles serve as a map of the numerous blessings enjoyed along the journey, too.

They were first born in those big smiles from your childhood birthday parties and class pictures. They grew during those cheeky, constant grins of adolescence. They made their first appearance during a graduation, party or romance during your early adult life.

Your wrinkles expanded during moments of inspiration: the first time you saw mountains, your amazement over the grandeur of the ocean, your awe observing a sunset. They broadened during pregnancy, holding that little baby and wondering when she grew up without you knowing it.

Each moment, experience, heartache and celebration etches itself into your soul and surfaces beautifully through the the wrinkles on your face. These wrinkles aren’t to be disdained but celebrated!

What if in seeing them in the mirror you remembered the moments of great joy when you thrived? What if they reminded you of moments of total bliss? What if they reminded you of intense pain and how you are still here, still standing, still fighting and wiser than ever?

Instead of hiding from your wrinkles: celebrate them.

Today, make sure you make a few new wrinkles. Let your smile lines give away the joy that is in your heart, in your past and in your future! People may not remark on your legs or wrinkle-free face, but be assured they will be ignited by your joy and inspired to discover it for themselves.

What is one moment you’ve had in which a wrinkle was born? Could be the last time you saw old friends and laughed for hours reminiscing or a recent medical diagnosis that made you dig deeper and work harder than ever before. Whatever wrinkle-starting moment it is: share it with us in the comments on my blog and with your friends and family. This is the moment to celebrate our lives and our wrinkles.

0 replies on “The Sign of a Life Well-Lived”

I agree…wrinkles are evidence of everything good and bad that we have lived through. My biggest wrinkle moment was losing my Mom to a massive heart attack at age 52. It devasted my family – it certainly gave us wrinkles. But, it also gave me strength and I’m a much stronger person because of it!

Thank you, Shelly, for sharing your wrinkles and your strength. Keep creating wrinkles and igniting life! J

I totally agree!! Like Linda, I am also a “survivor”. I was diagnosed the first time in 1996, the 2nd in 1998, and the 3rd in 2003. My husband was diagnosed in 2003 as well. According to statistics I am well past my expected life span! I LOVE to celebrate birthdays and I look forward to growing old. Whenever I hear someone complain about “getting older” I gently remind them that our life is a gift and I, for one, am THRILLED to have lots of birthdays!

Sweet Gina, congratulations you are a champion! Keep enjoying those birthdays and celebrating EACH day. Thank you for taking the time to share. J

I am an ovarian cancer survivor (20 years) who has witnessed many young people dying from various diseases, especially cancer. I am a youthful 56-year-old woman who does not possess a lot of wrinkles. I have endured many hardships in life, and I am proud of the wrinkles I do have, as they bear testimony to the fact that I am still here. There are many people who would have loved to trade places with me and say that they would like to have lived long enough to see lines appear upon their own faces. I am blessed and constantly reminded that each day is a precious, precious gift that should never be taken for granted, even when inevitable hardships present themselves. I am very grateful for the wrinkles I do have, as they serve to remind me everyday of God’s mercy in preserving my life.

Linda, what a beautiful testimony to the gift that life is to each of us. Thank you for sharing,for celebrating your wrinkles and for sharing your appreciation for life with those in your life. Keep igniting life. J

Good afternoon,

I agree 99% of the time surgery is the reason people don’t show their age. There is that 1% of people like my Grandmother who while she earned many wrinkles in her life died at the age of 87 without displaying one on her face.

When I think back to some of my amazing moments in life I think of her and wonder what she would say today. What would she think of my boys and my husband. She had lost four of her five children before leaving this world, her fifth child being my Mother. She lost her husband and her son all on the same day and both of a heartattack.

However, she showed such grace and beauty. She is and will always be my favorite person. She understood me so completely and I only hope I can be as great a Grandmother in my day as she was to me.

So while I do agree that wrinkles tell many a story of a person, sometimes it isn’t the whole story. Sometimes you’ll find a rare person that filtered her distress so that only she knew of the wrinkles underneath.

Debra, what beautiful words. How blessed you were to have such a loving grandma who understood you so deeply. We are blessed by our role models and it is so important to remember we too are role models for others! Keep holding onto her beautiful spirit and thank you for all that you do. J

I agree totally John. Wrinkles are the lines of wisdom and love. Just like a an old truck that is well used, you see the beauty of the imperfect body with dents, failing paint, torn upholstery, and bumpers if not missing one all together and can only wonder in amazement of where it has traveled and what it has carried. I think I need to have my wife remove the fabric dryer sheets from the laundry to bring this point out in our clothes. Have a blessed day, Steve

Thanks for sharing, Steven! You are right; the wrinkles are evidence of the beautiful journey we’ve traveled in life. Ha! Good luck with the dryer sheets. Have a great day! J

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What Is a Life Well-Lived?

Twenty quotations and reflections on living well..

Posted August 25, 2015 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

 Ken Teegardin/Flickr

Once in a while, I like to take a step back from my daily concerns and ask myself what it means to live a good life. What would I be thinking about each day? What would I be saying and doing? The people quoted here sometimes have different views on these matters. That’s why I’ve included many different perspectives.

"God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well." ―Voltaire

Whether we’re religious or not, all of us have the gift of life. The question is how to best use that gift. Hopefully, the quotations and reflections that follow will help to answer that question. Let’s get going.

"In a gentle way, you can shake the world ." —Gandhi

In other words, that getting going need not be earth-shattering. Here’s a similar quotation from the author Joyce Sequichie Hilfer:

"Life is made up of a few moments all strung together like pearls. Each moment is a pearl, and it is up to us to pick the ones with the highest luster. If we do not have time to do great things, take a few gentle moments and do small things in a great way." —A uthor Joyce Hilfer

And if we miss the opportunity to pick a lustrous pearl, no need to fret; in the next moment, more pearls will appear for us to pick up and gently shake the world.

"If all you can do is crawl, start crawling." —Rumi

To me, this refers not only to our bodies, but to our minds. Some mornings, it’s a challenge to take on the day ahead. And so, I’d add to this quotation: “… start crawling with compassion for ourselves over how hard it can be even to crawl sometimes.” Our knees may get scraped, literally or metaphorically, but at least we’ll be moving—physically or mentally—and once we’re moving, the odds are the day will get better.

"Do not say, 'It is morning,' and dismiss it with a name of yesterday. See it for the first time as a newborn child that has no name." —Bengali poet and philosopher Rabindranath Tagore

This is a poetic way of saying, “This is the first day of the rest of your life.” That expression may have become a cliché, but it’s one that works for me. I like knowing that I can start over each day—even if I’m only able to crawl.

"What if today you gave yourself permission to be outrageously kind? What if you extended as much good will and kindness as you can possibly muster to every person you meet? And what if you did it with no thought of reward? I'm sure of one thing: it will be a day you will never regret." —Author Steve Goodier

I hope you’ll resolve to try this one day. Not only will it be a day you’ll never regret ; it will be a day you’ll never forget .

"We must embrace pain and use it as fuel for our journey." —Kenji Miyazawa

This quotation sits at the front of a chapter titled “Can’t Get No Satisfaction” in my book, How to Wake Up. Why can’t we get no satisfaction? In my experience, it’s because we refuse to accept that pain and sorrow are inevitable experiences, including in a life well-lived.

To be honest, I’m not always able to embrace pain and sorrow. But when I can at least gently acknowledge how hard they can be to bear, it softens their oppressive feel and this opens the door to finding a measure of peace even in the midst of their presence.

"Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb, but about how well you bounce ." —Anonymous

I don’t usually use anonymous quotations, but I liked this one too much to pass up. I see it as a metaphor for equanimity—the ability to bounce as we encounter life’s ups and downs. I imagine myself on a trampoline, bouncing up and down with abandon, instead of running into one brick wall after another, which is what happens when I try to get everything to go my way.

life well lived essay

I like the idea of living well through bouncing: bouncing through disappointment; bouncing through worry; bouncing through frustration; bouncing until we’re ready to get on with our day as it is.

"Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity ." —Simone Weil

This quotation sits at the beginning of one of the chapters in my new book How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness . My guess is that generosity would be on everyone’s list of ingredients for a life well-lived.

We usually think of generosity as giving something tangible to others or doing something for them to ease their burden. That’s why I love Simone Weil’s take on it. It’s quite simple: Do we give others our undivided attention? I, for one, could do better on this score.

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." —Mae West

I’m aware that Ms. West doesn’t give us a formula for a life well-lived; I couldn’t resist letting her have her say anyway.

"Let no one deceive another or despise any anyone anywhere. May no one through anger or ill-will wish for another to suffer." —The Buddha

This is from the Buddha’s Metta Sutta , a teaching on treating all beings with kindness and care. It’s a tall order not to deceive another and not to despise anyone anywhere , but it’s something to aspire to. Try reflecting on what the world would be like if everyone lived in accord with the Buddha’s words.

"Some of us need to discover that we will not begin to live more fully until we have the courage to do and see and taste and experience much less than usual." —Catholic mystic Thomas Merton

This is one of my favorite quotations because it takes an unexpected turn. I’m waiting for Merton to tell me I have to do and see and taste and experience everything ! But he says the opposite. His words serve as a reminder that what matters is not how much we see and do in life but the quality of our attention to whatever we’re doing at the moment.

"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?" —Novelist George Eliot

There are plenty of days when we can make life less difficult for each other, and when that opportunity arises, we ought to seize it. Some days, though, the best we can do is simply not make things worse for each other and that’s important too—knowing when not to speak and when not to act.

"Breath. Pay attention. Be kind. Stop grabbing." —Anne Lamott

This description of how to live each day is vintage Anne Lamott: few words, but right on point. It’s why she’s one of my favorite writers.

"If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another." —The Dalai Lama

Another way to look at the Dalai Lama’s words is to think about how, as long as we’re contending with another person, we cannot be at peace ourselves. I’ve been practicing non-contention lately, an odd expression, but one I got from the Buddha. It simply means refraining from getting into conflicts with others. I’ve discovered that it’s not always easy, and sometimes conflict is necessary in order for us to protect our own well-being. That said, imagine the peace we’d feel if, whenever possible, we absolutely refused to contend with another.

If, as the Dalai Lama suggests, a life well-lived is one in which we provide peace for others, perhaps the first step in that direction is non-contention.

"From the first day of our life until our last breath, the very foundation of our existence is affection and human warmth." —The Dalai Lama

I love this quotation because, as I read it, it feels as if The Dalai Lama is building up to something earth-shattering and transcendent: “From the first day of our life until our last breath, the very foundation of our existence is …” And what follows that phrase? Simply a way to live each day that every one of us can commit to: with affection and human warmth.

"The whole life of man is but a point in time; let us enjoy it." —Plutarch

My life; your life: but a point in time . Looking at life from this perspective inspires me to try and enjoy it as much as I can.

"Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens." —Epictetus

A quotation that so beautifully expresses how to live each day, that it also appears in my new book. Epictetus was born a slave. Despite seemingly insurmountable hardships, he lived a life of purpose, dedicated to helping others.

"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good ." —John Steinbeck

We don’t have to be perfect? Whew. What a relief! But we still have our work cut out for us … being “good” in the many ways the people quoted here have suggested.

And finally …

"Root out the violence in your life, and learn to live compassionately and mindfully. Seek peace. When you have peace within, real peace with others is possible ." —Thich Nhat Hanh

© 2015 Toni Bernhard. Thank you for reading my work.

Toni Bernhard J.D.

Toni Bernhard, J.D., is a former law professor at the University of California, Davis. She's the author of How to Be Sick , How to Wake Up , and How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness .

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Essay on Life for Students and Children

500+ words essay on life.

First of all, Life refers to an aspect of existence. This aspect processes acts, evaluates, and evolves through growth. Life is what distinguishes humans from inorganic matter. Some individuals certainly enjoy free will in Life. Others like slaves and prisoners don’t have that privilege. However, Life isn’t just about living independently in society. It is certainly much more than that. Hence, quality of Life carries huge importance. Above all, the ultimate purpose should be to live a meaningful life. A meaningful life is one which allows us to connect with our deeper self.

essay on life

Why is Life Important?

One important aspect of Life is that it keeps going forward. This means nothing is permanent. Hence, there should be a reason to stay in dejection. A happy occasion will come to pass, just like a sad one. Above all, one must be optimistic no matter how bad things get. This is because nothing will stay forever. Every situation, occasion, and event shall pass. This is certainly a beauty of Life.

Many people become very sad because of failures . However, these people certainly fail to see the bright side. The bright side is that there is a reason for every failure. Therefore, every failure teaches us a valuable lesson. This means every failure builds experience. This experience is what improves the skills and efficiency of humans.

Probably a huge number of individuals complain that Life is a pain. Many people believe that the word pain is a synonym for Life. However, it is pain that makes us stronger. Pain is certainly an excellent way of increasing mental resilience. Above all, pain enriches the mind.

The uncertainty of death is what makes life so precious. No one knows the hour of one’s death. This probably is the most important reason to live life to the fullest. Staying in depression or being a workaholic is an utter wastage of Life. One must certainly enjoy the beautiful blessings of Life before death overtakes.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

How to Improve Quality of Life?

Most noteworthy, optimism is the ultimate way of enriching life. Optimism increases job performance, self-confidence, creativity, and skills. An optimistic person certainly can overcome huge hurdles.

Meditation is another useful way of improving Life quality. Meditation probably allows a person to dwell upon his past. This way one can avoid past mistakes. It also gives peace of mind to an individual. Furthermore, meditation reduces stress and tension.

Pursuing a hobby is a perfect way to bring meaning to life. Without a passion or interest, an individual’s life would probably be dull. Following a hobby certainly brings new energy to life. It provides new hope to live and experience Life.

In conclusion, Life is not something that one should take for granted. It’s certainly a shame to see individuals waste away their lives. We should be very thankful for experiencing our lives. Above all, everyone should try to make their life more meaningful.

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He is dangerous in word, deed and action

He puts self over country, he loathes the laws we live by, donald trump is unfit to lead.

The editorial board is a group of opinion journalists whose views are informed by expertise, research, debate and certain longstanding values . It is separate from the newsroom.

Next week, for the third time in eight years, Donald Trump will be nominated as the Republican Party’s candidate for president of the United States. A once great political party now serves the interests of one man, a man as demonstrably unsuited for the office of president as any to run in the long history of the Republic, a man whose values, temperament, ideas and language are directly opposed to so much of what has made this country great.

It is a chilling choice against this national moment. For more than two decades, large majorities of Americans have said they are dissatisfied with the direction of the country, and the post-Covid era of stubborn inflation, high interest rates, social division and political stagnation has left many voters even more frustrated and despondent.

life well lived essay

The Republican Party once pursued electoral power in service to solutions for such problems, to building “the shining city on a hill,” as Ronald Reagan liked to say. Its vision of the United States — embodied in principled public servants like George H.W. Bush, John McCain and Mitt Romney — was rooted in the values of freedom, sacrifice, individual responsibility and the common good. The party’s conception of those values was reflected in its longstanding conservative policy agenda, and today many Republicans set aside their concerns about Mr. Trump because of his positions on immigration, trade and taxes. But the stakes of this election are not fundamentally about policy disagreements. The stakes are more foundational: what qualities matter most in America’s president and commander in chief.

Mr. Trump has shown a character unworthy of the responsibilities of the presidency. He has demonstrated an utter lack of respect for the Constitution, the rule of law and the American people. Instead of a cogent vision for the country’s future, Mr. Trump is animated by a thirst for political power: to use the levers of government to advance his interests, satisfy his impulses and exact retribution against those who he thinks have wronged him.

He is, quite simply, unfit to lead.

The Democrats are rightly engaged in their own debate about whether President Biden is the right person to carry the party’s nomination into the election, given widespread concerns among voters about his age-related fitness. This debate is so intense because of legitimate concerns that Mr. Trump may present a danger to the country, its strength, security and national character — and that a compelling Democratic alternative is the only thing that would prevent his return to power. It is a national tragedy that the Republicans have failed to have a similar debate about the manifest moral and temperamental unfitness of their standard-bearer, instead setting aside their longstanding values, closing ranks and choosing to overlook what those who worked most closely with the former president have described as his systematic dishonesty, corruption, cruelty and incompetence.

That task now falls to the American people. We urge voters to see the dangers of a second Trump term clearly and to reject it. The stakes and significance of the presidency demand a person who has essential qualities and values to earn our trust, and on each one, Donald Trump fails.

Moral Fitness Matters

life well lived essay

Presidents are confronted daily with challenges that require not just strength and conviction but also honesty, humility, selflessness, fortitude and the perspective that comes from sound moral judgment.

If Mr. Trump has these qualities, Americans have never seen them in action on behalf of the nation’s interests. His words and actions demonstrate a disregard for basic right and wrong and a clear lack of moral fitness for the responsibilities of the presidency.

He lies blatantly and maliciously, embraces racists , abuses women and has a schoolyard bully’s instinct to target society’s most vulnerable. He has delighted in coarsening and polarizing the town square with ever more divisive and incendiary language. Mr. Trump is a man who craves validation and vindication, so much that he would prefer a hostile leader’s lies to his own intelligence agencies’ truths and would shake down a vulnerable ally for short-term political advantage . His handling of everything from routine affairs to major crises was undermined by his blundering combination of impulsiveness, insecurity and unstudied certainty.

This record shows what can happen to a country led by such a person: America’s image, credibility and cohesion were relentlessly undermined by Mr. Trump during his term.

None of his wrongful actions are so obviously discrediting as his determined and systematic attempts to undermine the integrity of elections — the most basic element of any democracy — an effort that culminated in an insurrection at the Capitol to obstruct the peaceful transfer of power.

On Jan. 6, 2021, Mr. Trump incited a mob to violence with hateful lies, then stood by for hours as hundreds of his supporters took his word and stormed the Capitol with the aim of terrorizing members of Congress into keeping him in office. He praised these insurrectionists and called them patriots; today he gives them a starring role at campaign rallies, playing a rendition of the national anthem sung by inmates involved with Jan. 6., and he has promised to consider pardoning the rioters if re-elected. He continues to wrong the country and its voters by lying about the 2020 election, branding it stolen, despite the courts, the Justice Department and Republican state officials disputing him. No man fit for the presidency would flog such pernicious and destructive lies about democratic norms and values, but the Trumpian hunger for vindication and retribution has no moral center.

To vest such a person with the vast powers of the presidency is to endanger American interests and security at home as well as abroad. The nation’s commander in chief must uphold the oath to “preserve, protect and defend the Constitution.” It is the closest thing that this secular nation has to a sacred trust. The president has several duties and powers that are his alone: He has the sole authority to launch a nuclear weapon. He has the authority to send American troops into harm’s way and to authorize the use of lethal force against individuals and other nations. Americans who serve in the military also take an oath to defend the Constitution, and they rely on their commander in chief to take that oath as seriously as they do.

Mr. Trump has shown, repeatedly, that he does not. On numerous occasions, he asked his defense secretary and commanders in the American armed forces to violate that oath. On other occasions, he demanded that members of the military violate norms that preserve the dignity of the armed services and protect the military from being used for political purposes. They largely refused these illegal and immoral orders, as the oath requires.

The lack of moral grounding undermines Mr. Trump even in areas where voters view him as stronger and trust him more than Mr. Biden, like immigration and crime. Veering into a kind of brutal excess that is, at best, immoral and, at worst, unconstitutional, he has said that undocumented immigrants were “ poisoning the blood of our country ,” and his advisers say he would aim to round them up in mass detention camps and end birthright citizenship . He has indicated that, if faced with episodes of rioting or crime surges, he would unilaterally send troops into American cities. He has asked aides if the United States could shoot migrants below the waist to slow them down, and he has said that he would use the Insurrection Act to deploy the military against protesters.

During his time in office, none of those things happened because there were enough people in military leadership with the moral fitness to say “no” to such illegal orders. But there are good reasons to worry about whether that would happen again, as Mr. Trump works harder to surround himself with people who enable rather than check his most insidious impulses.

The Supreme Court, with its ruling on July 1 granting presidents “absolute immunity” for official acts, has removed an obstacle to Mr. Trump’s worst impulses: the threat of legal consequences. What remains is his own sense of right and wrong. Our country’s future is too precious to rely on such a broken moral compass.

Principled Leadership Matters

life well lived essay

Republican presidents and presidential candidates have used their leadership at critical moments to set a tone for society to live up to. Mr. Reagan faced down totalitarianism in the 1980s, appointed the first woman to the Supreme Court and worked with Democrats on bipartisan tax and immigration reforms. George H.W. Bush signed the Americans With Disabilities Act and decisively defended an ally, Kuwait, against Iraqi aggression. George W. Bush, for all his failures after Sept. 11, did not stoke hate against or demonize Muslims or Islam.

As a candidate during the 2008 race, Mr. McCain spoke out when his fellow conservatives spread lies about his opponent, Barack Obama. Mr. Romney was willing to sacrifice his standing and influence in the party he once represented as a presidential nominee, by boldly calling out Mr. Trump’s failings and voting for his removal from office.

These acts of leadership are what it means to put country first, to think beyond oneself.

Mr. Trump has demonstrated contempt for these American ideals. He admires autocrats, from Viktor Orban to Vladimir Putin to Kim Jong-un. He believes in the strongman model of power — a leader who makes things happen by demanding it, compelling agreement through force of will or personality. In reality, a strongman rules through fear and the unprincipled use of political might for self-serving ends, imposing poorly conceived policies that smother innovation, entrepreneurship, ideas and hope.

During his four years in office, Mr. Trump tried to govern the United States as a strongman would, issuing orders or making decrees on Twitter. He announced sudden changes in policy — on who can serve in the military , on trade policy, on how the United States deals with North Korea or Russia — without consulting experts on his staff about how these changes would affect America. Indeed, nowhere did he put his political or personal interests above the national interest more tragically than during the pandemic , when he faked his way through a crisis by touting conspiracy theories and pseudoscience while ignoring the advice of his own experts and resisting basic safety measures that would have saved lives.

He took a similar approach to America’s strategic relationships abroad. Mr. Trump lost the trust of America’s longstanding allies, especially in NATO, leaving Europe less secure and emboldening the far right and authoritarian leaders in Europe, Latin America and Asia. He pulled out of the Iran nuclear deal, leaving that country, already a threat to the world, more dangerous, thanks to a revived program that has achieved near-weapons-grade uranium.

In a second term, his willingness to appease Mr. Putin would leave Ukraine’s future as a democratic and independent country in doubt. Mr. Trump implies that he could single-handedly end the catastrophic war in Gaza but has no real plan. He has suggested that in a second term he’d increase tariffs on Chinese goods to 60 percent or higher and that he would put a 10 percent tariff on all imported goods, moves that would raise prices for American consumers and reduce innovation by allowing U.S. industries to rely on protectionism instead.

The worst of the Trump administration’s policies were often blocked by Congress, by court challenges and by the objections of honorable public servants who stepped in to thwart his demands when they were irresponsible or did not follow the law. When Mr. Trump wanted an end to Obamacare, a single Republican senator, Mr. McCain, saved it, preserving health care for millions of Americans. Mr. Trump demanded that James Comey, his F.B.I. director, pledge loyalty to him and end an investigation into a political ally; Mr. Comey refused. Scientists and public health officials called out and corrected his misinformation about climate science and Covid. The Supreme Court sided against the Trump administration more times than any other president since at least Franklin D. Roosevelt.

A second Trump administration would be different. He intends to fill his administration with sycophants, those who have shown themselves willing to obey Mr. Trump’s demands or those who lack the strength to stand up to him. He wants to remove those who would be obstacles to his agenda, by enacting an order to make it easier to fire civil servants and replace them with those more loyal to him.

This means not only that Americans would lose the benefit of their expertise but also that America would be governed in a climate of fear, in which government employees must serve the interests of the president rather than the public. All cabinet secretaries follow a president’s lead, but Mr. Trump envisions a nation in which public service as Americans understand it would cease to exist — where individual civil servants and departments could no longer make independent decisions and where research by scientists and public health experts and investigations by the Justice Department and others in federal law enforcement would be more malleable to the demands of the White House.

Another term under Mr. Trump’s leadership would risk doing permanent damage to our government. As Mr. Comey, a longtime Republican, wrote in a 2019 guest essay for Times Opinion, “Accomplished people lacking inner strength can’t resist the compromises necessary to survive Mr. Trump and that adds up to something they will never recover from.” Very few who serve under him can avoid this fate “because Mr. Trump eats your soul in small bites,” Mr. Comey wrote. “Of course, to stay, you must be seen as on his team, so you make further compromises. You use his language, praise his leadership, tout his commitment to values. And then you are lost. He has eaten your soul.” America will get nowhere with a strongman. It needs a strong leader.

Character Matters

life well lived essay

Character is the quality that gives a leader credibility, authority and influence. During the 2016 campaign, Mr. Trump’s petty attacks on his opponents and their families led many Republicans to conclude that he lacked such character. Other Republicans, including those who supported the former president’s policies in office, say they can no longer in good conscience back him for the presidency. “It’s a job that requires the kind of character he just doesn’t have,” Paul Ryan, a former Republican House speaker, said of Mr. Trump in May .

Those who know Mr. Trump’s character best — the people he appointed to serve in the most important positions of his White House — have expressed grave doubts about his fitness for office.

His former chief of staff John Kelly, a retired four-star Marine Corps general, described Mr. Trump as “a person who admires autocrats and murderous dictators. A person that has nothing but contempt for our democratic institutions, our Constitution and the rule of law.” Bill Barr, whom Mr. Trump appointed as attorney general, said of him , “He will always put his own interest and gratifying his own ego ahead of everything else, including the country’s interest.” James Mattis, a retired four-star Marine general who served as defense secretary, said , “Donald Trump is the first president in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people — does not even pretend to try.”

Mike Pence, Mr. Trump’s vice president, has disavowed him. No other vice president in modern American history has done this. “I believe that anyone who puts themselves over the Constitution should never be president of the United States,” Mr. Pence has said . “And anyone who asked someone else to put them over the Constitution should never be president of the United States again.”

These are hardly exceptions. In any other American administration, a single cabinet-level defection is rare. But an unprecedented number of Mr. Trump’s appointees have publicly criticized his leadership, opposed his 2024 presidential candidacy or ducked questions about his fitness for a second term. More than a dozen of his most senior appointees — those he chose to work alongside him and who saw his performance most closely — have spoken out against him, serving as witnesses about the kind of leader he is.

There are many ways to judge leaders’ character; one is to see whether they accept responsibility for their actions. As a general rule, Mr. Trump abhors accountability. If he loses, the election is rigged. If he is convicted, it’s because the judges are out to get him. If he doesn’t get his way in a deal, as happened multiple times with Congress in his term, he shuts down the government or threatens to.

Americans do not expect their presidents to be perfect; many of them have exhibited hubris, self-regard, arrogance and other character flaws. But the American system of government is more than just the president: It is a system of checks and balances, and it relies on everyone in government to intervene when a president’s personal failings might threaten the common good.

Mr. Trump tested those limits as president, and little has changed about him in the four years since he lost re-election. He tries to intimidate anyone with the temerity to testify as a witness against him. He attacks the integrity of judges who are doing their duty to hold him accountable to the law. He mocks those he dislikes and lies about those who oppose him and targets Republicans for defeat if they fail to bend the knee.

It may be tempting for Americans to believe that a second Trump presidency would be much like the first, with the rest of government steeled to protect the country and resist his worst impulses. But the strongman needs others to be weak, and Mr. Trump is surrounding himself with yes men.

The American public has a right to demand more from their president and those who would serve under him.

A President’s Words Matter

life well lived essay

When America saw white nationalists and neo-Nazis march through the streets of Charlottesville, Va., in 2017 and activists were rallying against racism, Mr. Trump spoke of “very fine people on both sides.” When he was pressed about the white supremacist Proud Boys during a 2020 debate, Mr. Trump told them to “stand back and stand by,” a request that, records show, they took literally in deciding to storm Congress. This winter, the former president urged Iowans to vote for him and score a victory over their fellow Americans — “all of the liars, cheaters, thugs, perverts, frauds, crooks, freaks, creeps.” And in a Veterans Day speech in New Hampshire, he used the word “vermin,” a term he has deployed to describe both immigrants and political opponents.

What a president says reflects on the United States and the kind of society we aspire to be.

In 2022 this board raised an urgent alarm about the rising threat of political violence in the United States and what Americans could do to stop it. At the time, Mr. Trump was preparing to declare his intention to run for president again, and the Republican Party was in the middle of a fight for control, between Trumpists and those who were ready to move on from his destructive leadership. This struggle within the party has consequences for all Americans. “A healthy democracy requires both political parties to be fully committed to the rule of law and not to entertain or even tacitly encourage violence or violent speech,” we wrote.

A large faction of one party in our country fails that test, and that faction, Mr. Trump’s MAGA extremists, now control the party and its levers of power. There are many reasons his conquest of the Republican Party is bad for American democracy, but one of the most significant is that those extremists have often embraced violent speech or the belief in using violence to achieve their political goals. This belief led to the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol, and it has resulted in a rising number of threats against judges, elected officials and prosecutors.

This threat cannot be separated from Mr. Trump’s use of language to encourage violence, to dehumanize groups of people and to spread lies. A study by researchers at the University of California, Davis, released in October 2022, came to the conclusion that MAGA Republicans (as opposed to those who identified themselves as traditional Republicans) “are more likely to hold extreme and racist beliefs, to endorse political violence, to see such violence as likely to occur and to predict that they will be armed under circumstances in which they consider political violence to be justified.”

The Republican Party had an opportunity to renounce Trumpism; it has submitted to it. Republican leaders have had many opportunities to repudiate his violent discourse and make clear that it should have no place in political life; they failed to. Sizable numbers of voters in Republican primaries abandoned Mr. Trump for other candidates, and independent and undecided voters have said that Mr. Trump’s language has alienated them from his candidacy.

But with his nomination by his party all but assured, Mr. Trump has become even more reckless in employing extreme and violent speech, such as his references to executing generals who raise questions about his actions. He has argued, before the Supreme Court, that he should have the right to assassinate a political rival and face no consequences.

The Rule of Law Matters

life well lived essay

The danger from these foundational failings — of morals and character, of principled leadership and rhetorical excess — is never clearer than in Mr. Trump’s disregard for rule of law, his willingness to do long-term damage to the integrity of America’s systems for short-term personal gain.

As we’ve noted, Mr. Trump’s disregard for democracy was most evident in his attempts to overturn the results of the 2020 election and to encourage violence to stop the peaceful transfer of power. What stood in his way were the many patriotic Americans, at every level of government, who rejected his efforts to bully them into complying with his demands to change election results. Instead, they followed the rules and followed the law. This respect for the rule of law, not the rule of men, is what has allowed American democracy to survive for more than 200 years.

In the four years since losing the election, Mr. Trump has become only more determined to subvert the rule of law, because his whole theory of Trumpism boils down to doing whatever he wants without consequence. Americans are seeing this unfold as Mr. Trump attempts to fight off numerous criminal charges. Not content to work within the law to defend himself, he is instead turning to sympathetic judges — including two Supreme Court justices with apparent conflicts over the 2020 election and Jan. 6-related litigation. The playbook: delay federal prosecution until he can win election and end those legal cases. His vision of government is one that does what he wants, rather than a government that operates according to the rule of law as prescribed by the Constitution, the courts and Congress.

As divided as America is, people across the political spectrum generally recoil from rigged rules, favoritism, self-dealing and abuse of power. Our country has been so stable for so long in part because most Americans and most American leaders follow the rules or face the consequences.

So much in the past two decades has tested these norms in our society — the invasion of Iraq under false pretenses, the failures that led to the 2008 financial crisis and the recession that followed, the pandemic and all the fractures and inequities that it revealed. We need a recommitment to the rule of law and the values of fair play. This election is a moment for Americans to decide whether we will keep striving for those ideals.

Mr. Trump rejects them. If he is re-elected, America will face a new and precarious future, one that it may not be prepared for. It is a future in which intelligence agencies would be judged not according to whether they preserved national security but by whether they served Mr. Trump’s political agenda. It means that prosecutors and law enforcement officials would be judged not according to whether they follow the law to keep Americans safe but by whether they obey his demands to “go after” political enemies. It means that public servants would be judged not according to their dedication or skill but by whether they show sufficient loyalty to him and his MAGA agenda.

Even if Mr. Trump’s vague policy agenda would not be fulfilled, he could rule by fear. The lesson of other countries shows that when a bureaucracy is politicized or pressured, the best public servants will run for the exits.

This is what has already happened in Mr. Trump’s Republican Party, with principled leaders and officials retiring, quitting or facing ouster. In a second term, he intends to do that to the whole of government.

Election Day is less than four months away. The case against Mr. Trump is extensive, and this board urges Americans to perform a simple act of civic duty in an election year: Listen to what Mr. Trump is saying, pay attention to what he did as president and allow yourself to truly inhabit what he has promised to do if returned to office.

Voters frustrated by inflation and immigration or attracted by the force of Mr. Trump’s personality should pause and take note of his words and promises. They have little to do with unity and healing and a lot to do with making the divisions and anger in our society wider and more intense than they already are.

The Republican Party is making its choice next week; soon all Americans will be able to make their own choice. What would Mr. Trump do in a second term? He has told Americans who he is and shown them what kind of leader he would be.

When someone fails so many foundational tests, you don’t give him the most important job in the world.

From top, photographs and video by Damon Winter/The New York Times (2) and Jay Turner Frey Seawell (5).

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